I found this blog post recently: Time to cast the line: Dating as a Widow and thought it was good, though it doesn’t quite address the big problem which is how to FIND someone to date.
It’s been over three years since Dave died and I think it’s time to start dating again. I find that to be easier said than done. I tried the online dating sites for a little while and went on a couple of dates with a man. That was pleasant but not earth shattering and at some point I realized I wasn’t hearing from him again and decided that it was no big deal.
I talked to a one man on the phone who I decided was not a good fit–if you’re going to complain about the women you’ve met on a dating site, the odds are good that you’ll complain about me too. I too probably have rolls of fat and look like a mother. I am indeed a mother. And really, this is what you discuss with a potential date?
A lot of the men on the online dating sites look like they’ve spent the last 30 years in a recliner and now, for some reason, they’ve been forced out of that chair, and are trying desperately to find someone to let them get back to reclining. Those are not for me.
Then there are some who are obviously very active and fit and are looking for younger, very active and fit women. They frighten me and I eliminate them from the list too.
And then there are the sad cases where of course my first instinct is to try to fix things for them and then realize down that path lies a lot of pointless work. What I also realized is that there are women who will go down that path happily so I should leave them to it.
People told me to join groups where I could meet men so I joined a hiking group and sure enough I met a man who I then went out with a couple of times. He very quickly veered into crazy land by criticizing my “lack of hormones” because apparently I wasn’t passionate enough while at the same time talking about the “L word.” I was sorry that one didn’t work out any better because I really thought that having met the person first was a better way to go.
I love my friends but I find that widowhood sort of consigns you to the women’s corner. Actually I love the women’s corner but wouldn’t it be nice to explore other parts of the room too?
I’m sharing one of my hiking photos because it’s a LEDGE, which seems appropriate, though, of course, I used a room metaphor so this isn’t quite the right theme. Still, enjoy the picture.