One time many years ago, Dave and I went to the Flats in Cleveland with a group of Dave’s former co-workers. We decided to leave the bar we were in and to go to a different one.
When we approached the door,a group of people were blocking the door and talking. Being impatient, I decided I was not standing in line to exit a bar so I pushed my way through the crowd and ended up out on the sidewalk by myself. I stood out there waiting for Dave and everyone else in the group. Apparently I didn’t do this without notice because some guy followed me outside and began to yell at me for being rude. Hmmm, I suspect that I was making rude comments back. Finally Dave made it outside.
Dave was a tall man–about 6’2″–and this man was average height–maybe 5’9″. Dave saw this man yelling at me and said, “Hey, that’s my wife.”
The man stopped, said, “lovely woman” and slipped back inside. I’ve never gotten over that man’s quick thinking.
Poor Dave was always having to rescue me from myself.
Recently I was talking with a retired teacher who remembered having Dave in class. A retired science teacher was there who could have had Dave but we finally figured out that Dave would have had a different teacher for physics.
I did not attend Hudson High School. It’s weird to be discussing Dave’s high school experience when I wasn’t here for it.
I told them that Nick is taking physics this year, also at Hudson High School. The retired science teacher asked me which teacher and I told him. So, he knew that Nick was taking Honors Physics.
Dave’s mother also attended Hudson so that’s three generations of Explorers. I guess I should be an enthusiastic school backer!
It was just odd. Living in Ohio, nobody knows much of anything about where I went to school.
I complimented a woman at work on her blouse. It was a vibrant purple print. I told her purple was my husband’s favorite color. She looked puzzled and said, “And I assume it still is?” Ah, yes. I didn’t start my current job until after Dave died so most people there don’t know. So I told her that my husband had died. She looked a bit shocked at first.
I’d already told her about Nick and she has a son the same age so we discussed Nick.
It’s a bit awkward telling people that my husband died recently. There’s no good way to say it and there’s no good way to respond. Well, actually, most people respond in a perfectly fine manner–they say, “oh, I’m sorry.”
And as for the purple, suddenly it’s a color I really like. Dave loved purple. Our yard is filled with purple flowers. I always liked greens and yellows but suddenly I’m drawn to purple.
Purple Flower by Kinez thanks to Flickr
She lost her husband. That’s the phrase we use to describe a dead husband. We lose our husbands just like we lose a glove by dropping it in the parking lot.
If something happens. This is how we discuss a death to come. I asked a friend, “what if something happens to me?” He knew what I meant and said that’s why I have a will.
When I talked to all those customer service people last summer about transferring names and such, they all talked about my husband passing or passing away. I even saw this used in a legal document.
I don’t know if all those terms help or hurt. It’s certainly blunt to say, “he’s dead” instead of “he passed away.” Sometimes the shock value of “he’s dead” is sort of fun in a dark kind of way.
So I resolved not to use those phrases but I’m not sure that’s the right decision. I’m still mulling it over.
I know I was posting earlier about this excessive exercising and healthy eating I was doing and suggesting that there was something wrong with that. Well, I had my lipid profile done recently and received the results this week. Hooray! All of my numbers were excellent and much better than they were this time last year. I’m actually happy to be taking care of myself.
Based on this, I will continue with my healthy diet and exercise routine. This was a good motivator.
I still say the Swiss Chard was much better when I cooked it in wine and put parmesan cheese all over it.